The Kraken Umbrella
/the-kraken-umbrella-11648.jpg "The Kraken Umbrella")
- Solar System Interior Umbrella - $21.97
- Mini Samurai Sword Umbrella - $17.74
- Hinterland Trading Airplant Xerographica Clam Shell - "The Kraken" - $50.00
- Glass Jellyfish Paperweight - $23.50
- MoMA Mini Sky Umbrella - $31.25
What I like about this Kraken umbrella is the inside, which features a giant Kraken. What I like significantly less about this Kraken umbrella is the outside, which features a mess of curlicued, doily-looking sea life and free advertising for The Kraken spiced rum. I am ambivalent about the squid arm handle. It looks cool, but I'm skeptical of its gripping comfort, especially during a blustery downpour. I'm bitter enough when forced out of doors in inclement weather. I don't need a palm covered in cephalopod suction cup imprints adding to my ire. (Note: According to The Kraken Supply Shop, the Kraken umbrella's handle is "rubbery". How does one interpret that in terms of skin-gouging potential?)
So as not to sound like a complete d-bag, I will reiterate that I do dig the inside of the Kraken umbrella. And I generally enjoy umbrellas as a commodity. I will also disclose that I chipped a tooth biting into a Werther's Original a couple hours ago, so I'm not in the best of moods.
Rain Shield
A 2012 red dot award winner for design concept, Lin Min-Wei and Liu Li-Hsiang's Rain Shield could make carrying an umbrella 1) somewhat stylish and 2) more than an exercise in futility. Its shield-like construction uses...
Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella
Look at that dude standin' on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon! That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable...
The SunDen Smart Rig & Cooler
Your wingman for summer has arrived. Well...its crowdfunding campaign has anyway. Like the Coolest Cooler before it, the SunDen hit Kickstarter this week seeking to consolidate and elevate, optimize and smartify all facets...
/powershade-solar-powered-beach-16592.jpg "PowerShade Solar-Powered Beach Umbrella")
PowerShade Solar-Powered Beach Umbrella
I can hear the naysaying negative Nellies now: The beach is for disconnecting!; Can't you enjoy nature for an hour without your laptop?; Why don't you just stay home, A-hole? Um, because I would like to get a tan, and...
Upskirt Umbrella
Stripes or solids: what kind of panties make you want to make it rain? Aside from my girlfriend and my mama, I wonder how many ladies would slap me if I walked around town with a plaid upskirt shot printed on my umbrella...
/car-umbrella-sunshade-55868.jpg?mode=crop "Car Umbrella Sunshade")
Car Umbrella Sunshade
I doubt it's as easy as opening an umbrella to install, but this umbrella-style car sunshade sure looks dandy in use. Not to mention space-saving when in not-use, since it does mimic its namesake's collapsed size and...
Nunchuck Grips - Self-Defense Tool Storage Grips
Squeeze hard and stay safe. Nunchuck Grips are a line of outdoor product grips whose hollow centers make way for your choice of quick-release personal safety gear. Install a pair of Nunchucks on your existing bike's handlebars...
Head Dome Umbrella
In the realms of both personal health and interpersonal communication, the Nubrella serves as an excellent form of preventative medicine. It will shield its wearer from everything from hostile weather conditions to airborne...
/led-lightsaber-flashlight-20360.jpg "LED Lightsaber Flashlight Umbrella")
LED Lightsaber Flashlight Umbrella
Battler of enemies from the sky teams up with battler of enemies from a galaxy far, far away with this LED Lightsaber Umbrella. If the Force is with you the umbrella's 25+" blade will light your way through the Dark Side...
/lanmodo-portable-automatic-car-34076.jpg?mode=crop "Lanmodo Portable Automatic Car Tent")
Lanmodo Portable Automatic Car Tent
Lanmodo sees your car cover, and raises it...a giant remote controlled automatic vehicular umbrella! The Wolverine of vehicular umbrellas, if Lanmodo's claims are true...
/vegetabrella-lettuce-umbrella-23650.jpg "Vegetabrella Lettuce Umbrella")
Vegetabrella Lettuce Umbrella
In the words of the great Lionel Richie, "You are the sun. You are the Romaine. That makes my life this foolish game." Seriously, Vegetabrella, you've reduced me to a career of Lionel and lettuce puns. Or I should say...
F*ck the Rain Umbrella
A picture is worth a thousand words. Or maybe just two of our most favorite ones, directed towards the supreme asshole of regular climatological events. It seems like all of our best laid plans revolve around the temperamental...