The PersonalSpacinator
Claustrophobes, agoraphobes, germophobes, the PersonalSpacinator is for you. Provided you don't also have a fear of walking around looking like an idiot.
One of Matt Benedetto's latest Unnecessary Inventions, the PersonalSpacinator creates a barrier between the wearer and anyone inconsiderate enough to get too close to the wearer. Close talkers. Jerks who walk face-down in their phones. People you just met and weird uncles going in for the hug.
The PersonalSpacinator comes in 3', 5', and 10' spacers.
Or it would anyway if the invention were real. For those unfamiliar with Benedetto's project, the designer conceives and builds whimsical products that solve silly first-world problems, and creates fake marketing campaigns around them. Likes its dozens of predecessors, The PersonalSpacinator "pokes fun at the real products people will actually purchase online."