Clothing

Maqoo Cooling Underwear

$45 Maqoo »

They're not quite as...vented...as a pair of Manties, but Maqoo still believes their new linen blend of underwear will be the coolest your boys will ever cradle. At least from a degrees Fahrenheit point of view. Aesthetically...

Manties Men's Lace Boxers

$31.19 Firebox.com »

Last month this a-hole at my office left a box of Edible Anus chocolates on my desk with a note that said, "I saw these and thought of your face." Now everyone at work calls me Buttmuncher. Like we're 12! So for next...

Underlit LED Smart Skirt

Smart skirt is right. This glorious parade of LED underlighting has smartness coming out of its a-...yeah, you know. Literally. The Bluetooth-controlled strip of lights lining the inside of the skirt pairs with an Android...

Samuel Adams Onesie

$95 Shinesty »

I like the onesie, but if I have to make that bro face while wearing it, I'm out, Sam Adams. Also not really down with the full-frontal-zip look. Not only because of the whole suffocation thing, but also because it makes...

Sirius the White Knight Hoodie

$299 Etsy »

Medieval knight hoodies aren't new, but when I saw this white version, coined Sirius, The White Knight, I knew it would be the perfect addition to my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power's and my bedroom activities...

Dragon Ball T-Shirts & Rashguards

$35 - $45 Justsaiyan »

Lookin' for Dragon Balls? Look the part with Justsaiyan's DBZ T-shirts and SkinZ. The fitted tees and water-ready rashguards are covered from neckline to waistline in pure, unbridled, anime-tastic DBZ art. Go hero or...

The Little Mermaid Ariel Bikini

Discontinued

If any lady wearing this Ariel bikini wants to be part of our world, I think I speak for most dudes when I say, Come on in! The seashell swim top and sexily-scaled mermaid bottoms are instantly recognizable as nods to...

Mewgaroo Pet Pocket Hoodie

Although Mewgaroo maker UniHabitat's website is plagued with the most jacked up English translation of Japanese I've ever seen from Google, I don't think this lack of a single coherent sentence describing the Mewgaroo...

Watermelon Swimsuit

$43 Batoko »

Oh goodness! I seem to have walked right into a watermelon! It feels so wet and squishy and...gooooood. The fruit of the summer becomes the suit of the summer with Batoko's jaunty watermelon one-piece. No word on whether...

AyeGear 13-Pocket Hoodie

Sold Out Amazon »

A hoodie with 13 internal pockets that won't add discomfort or make you look like Pillsbury's new Hipster Doughboy when you fill them? AyeGear's H13 should be welcome news for tech and gear heads who can't leave home...

I Am Chewie Hoodie

Sold Out We Love Fine »

Holy crap, Rheurrrrrr Glglglglg Rararararara, and Hubba, hubba! It's the furriest, frilliest Chewbacca hoodie yet, modeled by the furriest, hottest Wookiee fan yet. I Am Chewie certainly isn't the first attempt to bring...

Casual Strains Cannabis Strain T-Shirts

Casual Strain's line of T-shirts aren't made of hemp and they don't contain built-in smoking apparatuses. And thanks be to God Bob, Willie, Woody, and Snoop Dogg for that. What they do contribute to the world are some...

Star Wars Schematics Hawaiian Shirt

Discontinued

As entities, Hawaii and Star Wars seem pretty discordant to me. Beach with palm trees and umbrella drinks meets outer space and black-plastic-composite-clad Darth Vader? Compatibility: <5%. But take a Hawaiian shirt...

Litographs - Entire Books on T-Shirts

$34 Litographs »

Litographs guarantees they will sell you the best book you've ever worn. Each of their T-shirts features an artistic interpretation of classic book titles shaped using the text of the book itself. As in the actual words--every...

SilverAir Anti-Odor Performance Clothing

$16 - $64 Y Athletics »

Y Athletics weaves pure silver into the fabrics of their SilverAir line of performance gear to form an ionic shield against odor. They say the result is not only effective, but designed to fight odor naturally throughout...

SOS Boxer Briefs with Condom Pocket

Nothing tells your date, I was pretty sure I'd get lucky tonight, like a sexy pair of boxer briefs. With a built-in condom pocket. Hidden with great metaphor behind a lifesaver stitched to the right thigh. Ah, the only...

Flashback Photobomber Hoodie

$205.20 Beta Brand »

If you ride the flip side of taking hourly (quarter hourly? every 5-minute-ly?) selfies to Tweet and post on Instagram, and tend instead to wear you hood up and cap low, shielding your face when them camera comes out...

vapRwear Smokable Hoodies

$99 VapRwear »

Elvis "Papi" Edwards created the line of vapRwear smokable hoodies. Papi Edwards. Caribbean native. Colorado resident. Incredibly enterprising stoner. His vapRwear hoodies all have hookah-like drawstrings at their necks...

The Quarter Century 25-Year-Guarantee Pants

Quarter Century pants are just like every other pair of pants you own, except you'll still be wearing Quarter Centuries long after every other pair of pants you own has been relegated to: weekends only; the back of the...

The Space Jacket

$265.50 Beta Brand »

Seems like this Space Jacket might be better suited for the 1960s when going to space was, like, a big deal. But I guess Elon Musk has made things interesting again with his sports car-style rockets so maybe there's still...

Vagisoft Clothing

Sold Out Beta Brand »

I know nothing is supposed to connote comfort like a mama's womb, but when Betabrand describes it as "Vagisoft"...ummm...I think of wearing a vagina. Which could be soft. Ish. I guess. If the lady's into grooming. But...

Suitsy Business Suit Onesie

$264.60 Beta Brand »

Dress Pants Sweatpants are OK for the average day at the office, but what if you have an important meeting with the Japanese investors? Or a big interview? Or your great aunt's funeral? When formality is required, but...

Single Sentence Film Summary T-Shirts

$28 Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype...

Ugly Christmas Swimsuit

I have one thing to say to all of you who live in Southern California and Miami and Australia. You who will be sweating balls this Christmas instead of freezing your ass off making them out of snow: jerks. The only things...