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Shrine Sneaker Duffel

$185 The Shrine »

Dirty, germy shoes nestled against your white shirts and boxer briefs. Not cool. Neither is cramming your sneakers in a bag's slim outer pocket and having them come back out all misshapen and degraded. In response to...

Ugly Christmas Swimsuit

I have one thing to say to all of you who live in Southern California and Miami and Australia. You who will be sweating balls this Christmas instead of freezing your ass off making them out of snow: jerks. The only things...

Recycled Fire Hose Wallets & Cases

As a firefighter who regularly depends on the material's ruggedness and durability, Jake Starr has always known that canvas fire hose can stand up to extreme temperatures, water pressures, and beatings. So he figured...

Street Fighter Ugly Christmas Sweater

The embodiment of ugly Christmas sweater awesome right down to the KO, KO, KOs running along its upper border. It's Ken v. Ryu...and a snowflake...in this Street Fighter spin on the most heinous of yarn creations (100%...

Santa Jumpsuit

[Insert Sit on Santa's Lap Joke Here.]...

Flux Capacitor Watch

Discontinued

See, sometimes you can have too much of a good thing, but other times...you should turn every possible 21st century EDC item into a flux capacitor. That's ThinkGeek's current modus operandi. Hot on the heels of their...

SH*T-IN-M'TEETH Toothpicks

Popcorn. Milk Duds. The kale chips I once ate on a date so the chick would think I'm healthy and open minded that subsequently led her ditch me once little bits of them got stuck in the crevices of my gums and then flew...

Knox Handroid Hand Armor Gloves

$249.95 - $269.95 Amazon »

As if riding a motorcycle while protecting your skin from flaying off and bones from splitting in half weren't cool enough, Knox is going to make it look like you have mech hands in the process. More armor than gloves...

Tactical Holiday Stocking

$19.99 ThinkGeek »

If you thought your tactical novelties would have to be shelved now that Tactical BBQ Apron-wearing season is over, ThinkGeek is happy to inform you that, au contraire, you can still have a Holly MOLLE Christmas with...

Dakine BC Utility Vest

Sold Out Amazon »

I was recently at a bar for happy hour and it was jam packed with 1) Amazon employees and 2) Amazon employees' backpacks. I felt like I was at Adult Latch Key. They got let out of work but their mamas couldn't pick them...

Nanotips Touchscreen Tonic for Gloves

Discontinued

Frostbite-free constant contact. That's what I'm talkin' about. Though touchscreen gloves have been around for a while, Nanotips tweaks the idea of hand warmers that don't prohibit smartphone and tablet use by enabling...

Alien Nativity Ugly Christmas Sweater

Discontinued

Check out the jazz hands on the Alien Baby Jesus. Dropped fresh from the Virgin Mothership, he's not so much here to save us as he is to perform a lively and festive dance number alongside the Little Green Herald Angels...

Reindeer Hangover Ugly Christmas Sweater

Sold Out Amazon »

Listen. The only reason I'm showing you a barfing reindeer ugly Christmas sweater on November 6th is that when I waited for another month to show it to you last year it sold out before I had the opportunity. So just swap...

HM6 Space Pirate Watch

$230k MB&F »

You gotta have some balls to call your watch an "horological machine" and charge over $200 grand for it. And MB&F's HM6 Space Pirate is definitely a watch with balls. Five of them, to be exact. The timepiece's transparent...

LightMode Bike Helmet EL Kits

$69 - $72 LightMode »

We've seen simultaneous nods to motorcycle safety and TRON light cycles with bike wheel lights. LightMode kits propose something similar with bike helmet lights. More specifically, ropes of EL material riders DIY around...

R2-D2 Carry-On Luggage

$79.99 ThinkGeek »

Obviously they made the R2-D2 luggage a carry-on because as a checked bag it would immediately be stolen by some bag handler or TSA fanboy. I mean that's what I would do anyway. Since I'm generally a swell guy I wouldn't...

Star Wars Ear Plugs

Discontinued

Ear plugs make me a little queasy. Even those fitted with a painted acrylic AT-AT. Though if you're going to stretch a 1" hole in the middle of your earlobe, it would probably be my #1 choice of things to fill it with...

Belt Scooter

In describing his Belt Scooter, Hungarian student Adam Torok talks about humans' physical need to move around, the invention of the combustion engine, the independence of owning a car, and some mumbo jumbo pertaining...

Fou Lard Bacon Scarf

$175.50 Natalie Luder »

100% silk Crepe de Chine for the fingers, 100% thin-sliced Mangalitsa pork belly for the eyes. Natalie Luder's Fou Lard is a bacon scarf through and through. "Foulard" is the French word for "silk scarf" and "fou" alone...

Bluesmart Connected Carry-On Bag

$235 Bluesmart »

What we have on our hands could be the Coolest Cooler of the travel industry. Bluesmart is a hard-shelled carry-on bag with Bluetooth connectivity that will enable you toting trip goers to do things like lock and unlock...

DIY Cardboard Masks

$7.41 Etsy »

If you've left costume planning for your Halloween, or Eyes Wide Shut, party to the 11th hour, Steve Wintercroft may have a downloadable solution for you. I say "may" because his nifty animal, skull, and humanoid masks...

TDU Rapid Assault Shirt

$56.48 - $90.57 Amazon »

5.11's TDU shirt gets Rapid Assault designation because the company says it's the ultimate upper wear for tactical use and battle. A fast-drying, lightweight poly/cotton/spandex knit comprises the body's fabric to wick...

Game of Thrones Temporary Tattoos

$5 - $20 Etsy »

No girl who applies one of Seventh Skin's Game of Thrones temporary tattoos better get mad at me for staring at her chest. The intricacy, the detail, and the artistry of these short-term odes to Houses Targaryen, Stark...

Leggage Foot Massaging Laptop Case

$79.99 Leggage »

A laptop case for frequent travelers, the few inches of of tipi-ed bulk Leggage adds to its frame says it will elevate, massage, and assuage your restless feet and legs during miserable, interminable flights (i.e., all...