Food

The marshmallows are termed "Wondermade" because they're purportedly derived from "100% sweet, magic air." Very nice. However, as much as I like things that are sweet and magic, if I am to dole out $7.50 for them, they...

Oh look, a snake that can kill you without biting, constricting, or even being alive. At 84" long, 26.9 pounds, and a staggering 36,720 calories, the Gummy Python will inflict anything from hyperglycemia to ruptured intestines...

Jack's getting Jack'd. Cracker Jack'd packs, permutations of the beloved caramelized popcorn, will begin shipping on December 22, 2012 in a host of flavors and mixes--two of which will be shot up with 70 mg of caffeine...

Nothing like a little homemade flames-of-hell-spouting rooster sauce to take the edge off Thanksgiving with the fam. Granted, buying a bottle of Sriracha will only run you around $5, and cooking it up yourself will probably...

A merger of my two favorite things in life--ice cream and stuffing my face--Baskin Robbins' Thanksgiving Turkey Cake is back. Its return wasn't guaranteed. No, the layers of Mint Chocolate Chip and fudgy partitions shaped...

Medea Vodka is proof (80 proof, to be more specific) once again that what's on the inside really doesn't count. Because even if the liquor's crap, who doesn't want a vodka bottle with a programmable, running LED marquee...

Ice straws are what I will give children to drink hot chocolate with so I don't have to hear them whine and cry about how it's too hot and they burnt their tongue and waaa, waaa, waaa, I want a hug. I often want a hug...

The holidays. A season of (incredibly long and growing longer) buildup. Of personal reflection. Of getting comprehensively sloshed and drowning the sorrows generated by such a long flippin' buildup and the unhappy outcome...

For Brewmeister's Armageddon, the number 65 almost inconceivably corresponds to two very important attributes of the beer: its price for a 330 ml bottle; and its alcohol content. Yep, $65 for 65% ABV. Brewer Lewis Shand...

The only reasons I can think of to eat beer-flavored potato chips are that I like beer and I like potato chips. And I don't like dipping my potato chips in my beer because when one absorbs too much liquid and breaks off...

F nuclear codes and attacks. Booze, cards, Red Bull, cash, mints, and first aid are a real man's real tickets to power and life-altering--or at least night-altering--decisions. The briefcase. The weapons. The Football...

Mom and Dad are going to love it when I pass these Chocoshots out to the kiddies on Halloween. German company Zotter makes the syringes filled with mankind's greatest culinary invention from organic, fair-trade ingredients...

These aren't just Gummi Army Guys. These are 5 pounds of Gummi Army Guys. If I ate all of them, I would be 5 pounds heavier. Until I projectile vomited faster than the speeding bullets the GIs are ammo'd up with, at which...

Obviously, I like putting ketchup on burgers and fries. I also kind of like putting ketchup on eggs. And potato chips. Probably I would enjoy it on a Caesar salad as well if it weren't so runny. Oh, why hello Ketchup...

Shots. In addition to proving (or destroying) your manhood, they are also the best way to clear out random bottles of cr�me de cacao, orange bitters, and Lillet Blanc from the back of your liquor cabinet. Seattle mixologist...

This salt is not suitable for vegetarians. Because it contains worrrrrmsss. Real (used to be) live worms. Sal de Gusano, or Worm Salt sees your claims of authenticity in margarita and tequila shooting endeavors, and raises...

Pop Quiz, hot shot: What makes the nearly flawless Manhattan even better? A: An edible cup made of bitters. And drinking it without letting the bus drop below 50 mph, of course. Loliware's edible cocktail glasses up the...

The scientific community may have dogged Pluto, but these Solar System Suckers are paying the little outcast the homage he deserves. My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas, plus the Sun, all hold a place in...

Let's preface this pimp of Danilo Buendia's Breaking Bad Blue Glass Meth Rock Candy with the obvious: rock candy is pretty easy to make oneself. Even Blue Glass rock candy. Certainly easier than Blue Glass meth, and probably...

The Ole Smoky Moonshine family has honed the art of whiskey makin' since the early days of Smoky Mountain settlement. Distilling was a way to survive during hard times, both in terms of economics and, we presume, morale...

Like most people, the frequency of my hiking and camping excursions would increase exponentially if only I could incorporate more carbonation into the endeavors. What's that you say? Come September 2012 Pat's Backcountry...

I don't like the accusatory look on Princess Leia's face as she stands there, one hand on her hip, thrusting a Darth Vader LED-lit Lightsaber ice pop towards me and seemingly saying, "I thought it would be bigger." But...

I hope a hissing zombie with a sinister smile and graying flesh that has 80% rotted into a muscle-fascia-exposing slimy film, who's in the midst of ripping open his own abdomen to reveal a fun and colorful smorgasbord...

I must have stumbled upon the end of a rainbow because Jack. Pot. My days of spending 15 minutes crouched over my cereal bowl picking out all the boring healthy* brown bits from Lucky Charms are about to be as over as...