Bathroom

Dragon Sink Faucet

Discontinued

I can hardly stand the anticipation. Game of Thrones. Season 4. Less than a week away. I might pee my pants. Hey! Someone turn off that dragon sink faucet! It's not helping my continence! Hey, wait...a dragon sink faucet?...

Sarlacc Toilet Decals

Discontinued

Like most great ideas, Robbie Rane came up with his Toilet Sarlacc decals while hanging out with friends, having a few beers, and talking shit. One guy mentioned dropping the kids off at the pool. Another spoke of ending...

Bathroom Mirror Defogger

Sold Out Amazon »

Fogged mirrors! I can't groom my facial hair or Dep Gel my head for, like, 8-1/2 minutes after emerging from the shower unless I stand there like an a-hole blowing my mama's hairdryer on it. Towels: do not work. Squeegees:...

Aqueduck Faucet Extender

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The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

Nosferatu Shower Curtain

$73 Etsy »

The makers of this shower curtain depicting a shadowy Nosferatu ascending the stairs to drain your blood and leave you a dead and dried-out heap of sunken flesh...or maybe turn you into a vampire like himself if you're...

Doctor Who TARDIS Shower Rack

$44.99 ThinkGeek »

Doctor Who's time-traveling spacecraft TARDIS has a new assignment: hold your soaps, shampoos, razors, and other grooming gear so they don't litter up or fall off the ledges of your shower. Despite the looks of it, the...

Nuclear Glow Soap

United Nuclear's Nuclear Element Glow Soaps will scrub you clean. Clean and genetically modified. Maybe like Spider-Man. Maybe like Sloth from The Goonies...

PPShots Toilet Photo Holder

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Ahhh, nothing like the holidays to remind me whose face I'd like to take a giant piss on. PPShots produces Adhesive Photo Protectors--clear toilet sticker designed to house and keep intact photos stuck on the inside of...

Polaroll - Polaroid Toilet Paper Holder

$26.99 ThinkGeek »

Shake it, shake it. Shake it like a Polaroid picture. Guess what! The next time you have to do that because you get a pesky dingle berry whilst sitting on the toilet, the Polaroll toilet paper holder will be there to...

Iron Man Arc Reactor Soap

$5 GeekSoap »

Your source of power. Your one chance to defeat the spreading evil of germs, grease, and Cheetos dust. Lesley Karpiuk of Geek Soap custom designed her Iron Man Arc Reactor soap mold, and hand makes each piece in a "sultry...

Black Toilet Paper

Discontinued

This black toilet paper looks like the streamers my mama used to hang up in our kitchen for Halloween or when someone died. I hope the two don't feel similar tidying up my nether regions...

SinuPulse Nasal Irrigation System

$89.95 Amazon »

In a way the SinuPulse Nasal Irrigation System is just as gross as Nosefrida the Snotsucker nasal aspirator due to their similar purposes in life: extractors of snot. But in a way it's not because the Nosefrida is intended...

Tentacled Shower Head

Discontinued

It's like...Kraken meets...car wash. Though Vado's adjustable shower head sculpture is missing the 2 arms that would elevate it to true octo status, 5 minutes behind the curtain flipping and pointing this spraying beast...

One Size Fits All Toilet Seat

If you're elderly, overweight, pregnant, and suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, the Adjustable Advantage Toilet Seat was designed just for you! As a matter of fact, if any single one of the above descriptors applies...

Towel Warmer

Sold Out Amazon »

Pshhh. I don't need no stinkin' towel warmer. What am I, some kind of frageelay flower of a man who can't take a little cold air against his balls stepping out of the shower? Now I need a heated towel to protect my body...

Heavy Doody #2 Odor Eliminator

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Heavy Doody cannot hide the fact that I washed down 3 bowls of Honey Badger BBQ chili with one of those German hefeweizens that tastes like bananas, or that I've been in the bathroom for 18 minutes, or the sounds I am...

Waterpik Showerpik

Discontinued

I just had a childhood flashback. My grandma totally owned and operated one of these hydro-flosser things. But it didn't connect to the shower head like Waterpik's handy Showerpik, it had a reservoir you had to fill...

NightGlow Toilet Seat

$49.99 NightGlow »

NightGlow Toilet Seats don't just preclude black-of-night stubbed toes and Awww, F me morningtime cleanup requirements, they transform your excretory system's best inorganic buddy into an exhilarating pee-themed arcade!...

Mr. T Strong Man Toilet Paper Holder

Sold Out Amazon »

Add a pot-bellied weightlifter to the long and distinguished list of accessories available to facilitate man's wiping of his ass. Mr T heaves overhead a barbell stacked with toilet paper both to inspire us while on the...

Hammock Bathtub

Usually when people describe themselves they inflate the truth or do that reverse psychology trick where they say a bunch of self-deprecating things in an effort to convey the opposite meaning. In both cases they would...

Washmate Portable Bidet in a Bottle

Sold Out Amazon »

I would have thought this portable bidet would be aimed towards things like hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting, but after reading up on Washmate's water-spouting bottle I see it's aimed predominantly towards things...

Weener Kleener Soap

$10.99 Amazon »

I don't think that's how you spell "wiener" or "cleaner", but I'm willing to overlook the mistake on account of the fact that my penis has been bugging me for its own soap ever since it got the wrong end of a bar I used...

Bathing Bad Meth-Inspired Bath Salts

Discontinued

One time when I was in New Orleans this voodoo lady tried to sell me some bath salts under the guise that they would enlarge my manhood if I soaked in them while listening to Prince's "Sexy MF", but I said, "No thank...

The Shower Beer Buddy

I know what you're thinking: who drinks beer in the shower? And I'll grant you, not many people. But in my opinion this sad reality exists only because, until now, the Shower Beer Buddy has not. Because brew enjoyment...