Watersports

Floating Mattress

$57.91 Amazon »

Now this is the kind of waterbed I'm talkin' about. A Giant. Floating. Mattress. The SunSoft fabric cover is designed to stay cool and the lounger's bean bag feel to achieve the pinnacle of comfort as you get your tan...

World's Biggest Backyard Water Slide

Discontinued

I remember going to this water slide park called Wet Willy's when I was a kid. They had runs way longer than the Wahii's slide's measly 75'. I bet they were way faster too. But one time on our way home from Wet Willy's...

8-Person Island Raft

$120 - $319 Amazon »

What is there to say about Tropical Tahiti's floating island raft fit for you and 7 of your favorite water-lovin', sun-soakin', float-happy, swimsuit-clad cats besides P-A-R-T-Y and O-R-G-Y?...

ZUP Watersports Board

Sold Out Amazon »

In addition to your favorite brah's favorite word, ZUP is a hybrid towable eager to dole out some adrenaline rushes on the water this summer. The ZUP Board's design allows riders to stand, kneel, lie down, surf, chill...

Cabana Shirt Pool Float

Sold Out Amazon »

Garcon! Bring me a pina colada--extra umbrellas!--and a big plate of fried plantains with salsa and guacamole. Fresh mashed poolside, please...

C4 Carbon Fiber Diving Fins

$419 - $600 Amazon »

C4 makes fins for serious freedivers, spearfishermen, and mermaid cosplayers. And also people who just want to swim really, really fast. The carbon fiber designs tout themselves as key players in more underwater-themed...

WOW Aqua Floating Table & Bar

Sold Out Amazon »

Oh yeah. An inflatable floating picnic table & bar + me + She-Ra: Princess of Power + my friend Cornelius + wamp, wamp. Cornelius is still single. Don't worry, C, we'll find you a date for summer boozin' and eating pressed...

ThermaSpring Solar Mat

$59.99 Amazon »

I guess you gotta have a pool...or a really deep puddle...to use the ThermaSpring Solar Mat, but as long as that detail is sorted out, here's a natural, cost-effective way to raise its temperature from SwimWays. Place...

Quadrofoil Electric Watercraft

$28k - $28k Quadrofoil »

Here's your chance to jet across the water on an architectural insect. With the Quadrofoil you can do it quietly and without injecting carbon-based fuels into the subsurface ecosystem too. This personal watercraft operates...

Onyx CO2 Automatic Inflating Vest

$119.99 Amazon »

The U.S. Coast Guard-approved Onyx A/M-24 automatic flotation vest. For kayaking. For boating. For fishing. Definitely for the airplane. Psssh! Let all the other lemmings scramble to get their inflatable life vests and...

Schiller X1 Water Bike

$6,495 - $8,775 Schiller »

I used to see this dude pedaling around a lake near where I live on a water bike. He always had his Westie dog with him, riding in a milk crate attached to the front. Like a Bizarro World Dorothy and Toto. I don't think...

Shark Repellent Grenade

Discontinued

Surfers, SCUBA divers, mermaids, and baby seals now have a means of deterring the Ultimate Dread. Thwarting the very reason some break a sweat at the mere mention of the ocean. These here grenades contain a highly calibrated...

Strike Cam Underwater Fishing Camera

$189 Strike Cam »

If you can watch the Strike Cam video without vomiting it gets pretty alright around the 1m30s mark. An underwater camera pack created to capture a fish's take of the bait...and subsequent demise...the Strike Cam is waterproof...

Inflatable Fishing Float with Backpack Straps

$254.56 Amazon »

What would be really great is if they could add a foot rest and a reclining seat to this Cumberland inflatable fishing float tube. That way at least I could take a nap while I'm waiting all day long to not get so much...

Strand Craft V8 Wet Rod

$49k Strand Craft »

Strand Craft knows the best thing to do after you get hot is...get wet. So for the hot rod enthusiasts ready to take it to the next level, plus everyone else looking to showboat their wealth with a cushy, seafaring 2-seater...

Water Hamster Wheel

Sold Out Amazon »

Why hello, miss. That's a real nice pink bunny rabbit tattoo you've got there on your L4 and L5 vertebrae. How's about you, me, and the Energizer mascot go take a dip in the water and a roll in the ha...mster wheel?...

Hand-Built Roskilde Viking Ships

$45k - $545k CultureNordic »

Have you always dreamt of owning your own authentic Viking ship, built by craftsmen in the ancient Nordic capital of Roskilde? Well I hadn't really given it much thought before, purveyor of fine Scandinavian gifts CultureNordic...

GoPro Compatible Scuba Mask

$79.99 Amazon »

I don't see anything octo about the design and configuration of this Octomask with a built-in GoPro camera mount. Except maybe that 8 seconds is the amount of time I spent looking at it for clues before I got bored and...

Waterwolf MXP 3 - Waveless Surfboard

$8,050 - $10,350 Waterwolf »

Surfing without the waves. Stand up paddle boarding without the work. Water skiing without the boat. Waterwolf's MXP 3 is an electric surfboard designed to torch through the lazy waters of lakes, bays, bayous, deltas...

Underwater Torch

Sold Out Amazon »

Oh hello Cthulhu. I almost didn't see you there before I turned on my flashlight. Well, technically LED underwater torch. TOMTOP made it 100% waterproof and effective at illuminating up to 25 meters of ocean pathway...

Easybreath Snorkeling Mask

$89.90 - $99.90 Amazon »

It's not a set of human gills, but at least Tribord's Easybreath snorkeling mask doesn't require technology that hasn't come forth from hypothetical existence yet to work. This will make it somewhat easier for two-legged...

TRITON - Human Gills

Diving free of cumbersome tanks and lines, and with an unlimited underwater air supply? That's like...like...making love out of nothing at all. Unfathomable! And although human gills are indeed a ways away from sporting...

NOCQUA 2000 LED Light System

$399.99 NOCQUA »

I bet slumbering sea life are gonna love getting a shot of over 1,000 lumens of light in the eye post nightfall. Seriously. It will help the ones who need to get up and take a leak find the bathroom. As for the rest...

Sailboat Kit

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take...