Banana Umbrella
/banana-umbrella-11943.jpg "Banana Umbrella")
- Broad Sword Umbrella - $25.49
- Shark Umbrella - $16.64
- 5-1/2-foot-tall Rasta Banana - $137.10
- Umbrella for Dogs - $17.94
- Banana Baby Bunting with Hat - $30.00
Last week I showed you how you can protect your banana. So now it's time to explore how your banana can protect you.
- Bananas have a lot of potassium and a potassium deficiency is one potential cause of a charley horse and, more notably, the gripping, eye-crossing pain that accompanies it. Your banana could slay your charley horse.
- My mama used to give my grandma bananas when she was constipated. Or maybe it was when she had diarrhea. I can't remember, but I think it's safe to say that your banana will either make you crap or make you stop crapping.
- When the weather turns either offensively rainy or offensively sunny, your banana will transform from a delicious tropical fruit that pairs well with peanut butter and monkeys into an umbrella.
At least this one will. It's an Um-banana. An, um, banana umbrella. It comes in both ripened and unripened housings, the latter for strange cats like my friend Constantine who will not eat a banana with more than a couple streaks of yellow on it. All Um-banana canopies are brightly hued and function as normal water-wicking shields. And no, if you leave your Um-banana on the ground no one will slip and fall on it. However, someone will probably steal it.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
Rain Shield
A 2012 red dot award winner for design concept, Lin Min-Wei and Liu Li-Hsiang's Rain Shield could make carrying an umbrella 1) somewhat stylish and 2) more than an exercise in futility. Its shield-like construction uses...
/destapabanana-filling-injector-13710.jpg "DestapaBanana Filling Injector")
DestapaBanana Filling Injector
Are you kidding me? An Argentine made the DestapaBanana flavor injector? Not Ron Popeil or some borderline obese overenthusiastic dude with a pet monkey on Shark Tank?...
/The-Bad-Banana-937.jpg?mode=crop "The Bad Banana")
The Bad Banana
Everyone knows that Japanese people are out of their fucking minds a little bit eccentric when it comes to... everything, but that's why we love them. This streaking flashing banana, I think, captures that eccentricity...
Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella
Look at that dude standin' on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon! That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable...
The SunDen Smart Rig & Cooler
Your wingman for summer has arrived. Well...its crowdfunding campaign has anyway. Like the Coolest Cooler before it, the SunDen hit Kickstarter this week seeking to consolidate and elevate, optimize and smartify all facets...
/Banana-Flavored-Scorpion-Vodka-424.jpg?mode=crop "Banana Flavored Scorpion Vodka")
Banana Flavored Scorpion Vodka
Mmmm... Delicious banana flavored scorpion vodka. I've been dying for some of this stuff. Equally as refreshing after a long run as when you wake up in a shallow dirt grave across the Mexican border. Nothing takes the...
Banana Holder
Finally, a literal interpretation we can love as much as the figurative one: it's a banana hammock! Designer Biken even fabricated and hand-finished this one in genuine leather because your banana deserves nothing but...
22" Guillotine
If you thought the famously-reviewed Amazon Banana Slicer was the lone solution to your banana-cutting predicament, have I got a 22", tropical-fruit-whacking guillotine for you. Though originally used to decapitate humans...
The Kraken Umbrella
What I like about this Kraken umbrella is the inside, which features a giant Kraken. What I like significantly less about this Kraken umbrella is the outside, which features a mess of curlicued, doily-looking sea life...
/powershade-solar-powered-beach-16592.jpg "PowerShade Solar-Powered Beach Umbrella")
PowerShade Solar-Powered Beach Umbrella
I can hear the naysaying negative Nellies now: The beach is for disconnecting!; Can't you enjoy nature for an hour without your laptop?; Why don't you just stay home, A-hole? Um, because I would like to get a tan, and...
Upskirt Umbrella
Stripes or solids: what kind of panties make you want to make it rain? Aside from my girlfriend and my mama, I wonder how many ladies would slap me if I walked around town with a plaid upskirt shot printed on my umbrella...
/car-umbrella-sunshade-55868.jpg?mode=crop "Car Umbrella Sunshade")
Car Umbrella Sunshade
I doubt it's as easy as opening an umbrella to install, but this umbrella-style car sunshade sure looks dandy in use. Not to mention space-saving when in not-use, since it does mimic its namesake's collapsed size and...