Body

Tattoo Enhancing Moisturizer

Though many people who get tattoos fancy themselves hardasses, it doesn't mean they don't want to coddle and pamper and amplify their sweet baby ink jobs. Fresh Ink Tattoo Enhancing Moisturizer endeavors to amp up the...

Cyborg Tattoos

I'm afraid online ordering options for the cyborg flesh treatment have yet to make it to Amazon. In fact, should you want an anatomical anomaly tattoo so whiplash-inducingly realistic and infatuating it gets mistaken...

Custom Temporary Tattoos

Jolly Rogers, Hearts that say "Mom", Tweety Birds, sure they're gumball machine classics when it comes to temporary tattoos, but what about getting tatted out for 2 to 3 days in a design that expresses true individuality...

Zinka Neon Sunscreen

$5.21 - $6.50 Amazon »

Panama Jack left the neon zinc oxide sunscreen game too early. Now that fluorescent orange, yellow, and pink are back--in a full-on, legitimate, non-humorous, non-ironic sort of way no less--I have to give a shout out...

Japanese Nose Straightener

Taking a page from Apple's business model, the world of rhinoplasty has apparently determined that exorbitantly expensive nose jobs have been widely available for enough years now that it's time to do some price slashing...

Barcode Tattoos

$7.50 Barcode Art »

Not quite ready to make today's ironic tat trend a lifelong companion? Or even a week-long reminder that corporate America condemns those with conspicuous body art to careers in food service? These peel-off barcode tattoos...

Pain Is A Bitch Bandages

Most of these obscenity bandages seem apropos for the injuries they will cover, but who yells, "Balls!" after slicing through Tallman instead of the onion? Seriously, is "Balls!" really anyone's go-to vulgarity when overcome...

Hand Tattoos

Sold Out Amazon »

Become an instant hit with you nephews and nieces (or your own kids if you're fertile/not sterile) with these temporary hand tattoos. Having trouble figuring out what to get toddlers for their birthdays? Just get them...