Clothing

Money can squeeze the fat in, and now money can carve the muscle out. Which means there are exactly 0 reasons left for me to exercise. What? Avoiding heart disease and diabetes? Psshhh! Preventable, life-threatening afflictions...

It's not quite as cool as toting a real Proton pack, and infinitely less cool than being the real Peter Venkman, but this Ghostbusters printed Venkman jacket is still better than a tan Russell Athletic zip-up from Target...

The Catzilla sweatshirt's manufacturer got me all hyped naming their bitchin' piece of runway domination the "Catzilla sweatshirt," but then pulled a Ben Stiller movie and stunk it up on the garment's description: "Sweatshirt...

Maker Enthousis says their Shield Tech jacket (and hoodie) line has superpowers. And I'm not even going to call BS on that claim. Anymore, any piece of equipment--or in this case, wearable textile--able to save my identity...

This Iron Man crime-fighting-armor-turned-loungewear combines the Avenger's Mark VII and Mark VIII suits. Its chest and shoulders draw from the former, while the elbows and abdomen take after the latter. Awww, it's like...

To my friend Cornelius, who failed to grow up to be an astronaut, awww, better luck next life dude. Cheer up, though. Thanks to the marvels of modern consumerism and mass production, you can have an authentic-looking...

If you can't afford to be a stormtrooper in latex, how about an R2D2 in body-hugging cotton blend? This tunic-length tank top is very classy stuff, ladies. Very classy. I say that not only as a man who would be honored...

They call the leggings First Contact Sucks because some are of the opinion that Meeting other intelligent life forms for the first time could probably have gone a little better. What, better than KRA-KOOOOM!? But I love...

I know many of you are thinking it, so I'm just gonna put it on paper: the mass effect of Black Milk's Mass Effect body-hugging clothing collection is to effectively give every male fan of the video game series a massive...

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

Here's a neat product for people who like to nettle and bore friends and strangers to the edge of death with news of their ailments, injuries, stress levels, and overall health. You want to converse about your state of...

Link's Hylian Shield meets Link's Master Sword meets the touch, the feel of cotton, the fabric of our life. Geeky U has created a means of battling Ganon and rescuing Princess Zelda in comfort with the shop's Legend of...

Designed to be worn for any casual summertime activity, Lacrosse Playground's Convertible Shorts appear to be a normal pair of tea partaying men's fashion. When dry. But knock their wearer in the pool right after he comments...

Happy harsh dose of 4th of July reality! Aw come on, it's not so bad that Uncle Sam sees America celebrating its independence by launching bottle rockets out of beer bottles and butt cracks. We fought hard for this freedom...

Nothing says, "Happy Birthday, USA!" like a form-fitting pair of stars 'n' stripes shorts and an American boxing the shit out of a Russian in his own country. These officially licensed Balboa shorts hit--powerfully jab...

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever...

Voy Voy's first shirt venture, conducted through Kickstarter, is of the T persuasion, and has the interesting flourish of a built-in pocket square that can either hold a wallet or phone, or invert to a peacockish display...

Mmm, I smell a Cake Bake-Off coming on. Residents of Vault 101 take note: I will accept submissions of the sponge variety only this year. A fleece zip-up nod to the Fallout series, Bethesda's Vault 101 hoodie is passable...

Noooooo! As if there weren't enough things in this world to make me horny! Now R2-D2 is getting in on the tent pitching action? Etsy vendor Sceene Shoes, also of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bra fame, shares some Star...

Mark Ecko is doing everything he can to make Star Wars a leading name in high fashion. I just wish the items were priced in accordance with the bank accounts of Star Wars fans rather than those of Star Wars actors and...

Sometimes people do stupid shit, such as get extremely drunk and ornery on the 4th of July and refuse to respond to reason and jump off the deck of a Carver 54 motor yacht...twice...without taking their brand new iPhones...