Die Hard Advent Calendar

$34 - $60 Etsy »

Yippee Ki Yay, motherfu- uh...dudes, it's a Die Hard Advent Calendar! Leatherhead Laser Work even laser-cut his clever, original countdown design to depict one of the best scenes in the movie: Hans Gruber plummeting to...

I C you're here because you need and gift for a birthday, wedding, Christmas, Valentine's Day, or apology for something you completely F'd up (for that last one, wait a week or so, and I'll have my Presenting the Alphabet: Gifts that Start with F published.) And while you may not specifically need...

Zens Liberty Glass Edition Wireless Charger

$199.99 Zens »

Don't you worry, Zens Liberty Glass Edition Wireless Charger, I see you. I do. I see you on the outside and, thanks to your transparent tempered glass surface, I see the 16 copper charging coils you got on the inside...

Stand to Pee Ladies' Boy Shorts Underwear

$25 TomboyX »

TomboyX stays true to their brand name with ladies' boy shorts in simple black, and even truer to their brand name with ladies' boy shorts designed with a front-to-back lapped crotch opening so the ladies who wear them...

Tic Tac Gun

$14.99 - $24.99 Etsy »

The Tic Tac Gun takes aim at anyone who's eaten the garlic & cheese bread, or drank a whole pot of coffee this morning, and pelts 'em with fresh breath...

Philips Sonicare Cordless Power Flosser

$64.96 - $79.96 Amazon »

Am I more or less likely to floss with the Philips Sonicare Cordless Power Flosser than I am with regular dental floss? Hmmm, well, as long as I use Philips' Sonicare Toothbrush companion more than once a month, I'd say...

Dash Electric Butter Sprayer

$69.99 Amazon »

Dash did not start the electric butter spraying phenomenon. That is, the phenomenon wherein one inserts an entire stick of cold butter into the shaft of a bottle, and a battery-operated heating coil melts it to mist-ability...

I made it to B! As I mentioned in my first go at Presenting the Alphabet, I wasn't sure how long I'd stick with the theme, but now I can say with certainty: at least 2 letters' worth! So check it out, 21 gifts that start with B...

There Are Moms Way Worse Than You

$9.75 Amazon »

But probably not many. ... I joke, I joke. I'm not my Aunt Jan, ladies. When I say there are moms way worse than you, and definitely when author Glenn Boozan says There Are Moms Way Worse Than You, we mean it...

Sirius P5 Sci-Fi Earbuds with Interchangeable Cases

$89.95 Gravastar »

GravaStar has some Sirius sci-fi and Sirius cyberpunk for audiophiles in their Sirius P5 Earbuds. The company says it's the first to offer interchangeable cases to house and charge wireless buds, and their debut line's...

Butt Be Dry Portable Waterproof Seat

$19.99 Amazon »

Nothin' like sittin' on a wet stadium seat, picnic bench, or muddy slab of ground. Especially when the wetness really starts permeating your skin and making your butt itchy. Numb and itchy if it's cold out! And now here...

Medusa Bodysuit

$98 Amazon »

Snakes and temptation always seem to go hand-in-hand, and this Medusa Bodysuit is no exception. Sssexy, sssee-through, and ssslithering with ssserpents that maybe will, maybe won't cover up a lady's naughty bitsss, the...

Zippo Mag Strike

$14.35 Amazon »

Zippo-dee-doo-dah, Zippo-dee-ay / My, oh, Mag Strike will add a spark to your day. Or, or, how about: Dudes, I built a big ol' pyre / Come on, Mag Strike, light my fire...

Ballsak Pro Clip-on Cue Ball Bag

$19.95 Amazon »

The Ballsak Pro Clip-on Cue Ball Bag knows exactly what it's doing naming itself the Ballsak. And I'm here for it, even though I don't have any cue balls, billiard balls, pool balls, or really any balls but the two permanently...

E163: What Is This Thing?

Discontinued

Welcome to Edition 163 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Ready Rocker Portable Rocking Chair

Sold Out Amazon »

The Ready Rocker Portable Rocking Chair is well suited for getting babies to stop fussing and rocking them to sleep. So I'm definitely getting one as a gift for my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power...

Screwdriver Ring

$85 Yetch »

The screwy thing about this ring is...literal. And only literal, because the Screwdriver Ring isn't weird or messed up at all. It's awesome!...

Dweller-Ti Wood Stove - Titanium Outdoor Fireplace

$495 Pomoly »

The Dweller-Ti Wood Stove is a lightweight outdoor fireplace made of TA1 titanium and high temperature refractory glass. It combines the forces of Pomoly and Green Stove to produce a wood burner for hot tent and winter...

The Exorcist Puking Regan Bottle Pourer

$45 Etsy »

Is it weird to say whatever this Exorcist Puking Regan Bottle Pourer is puking up looks delicious? What is that, a Grasshopper cocktail? Maybe some sort of liquid key lime pie? As long as it doesn't taste like the vomit...

Presenting the alphabet. It's basically the same as saying "Gifting the alphabet," but has a clever play on words because I'm also presenting you choices of gifts / presents that start with letters of the alphabet. In this case, those gifts start with the letter "A."...

Eyebrow Razor

$9.99 Amazon »

Just a little off the bottom...a little off the top. Bring it in on the left...and the right. There! Check it...Ahhhhh! Mama! I have Hitler eyebrows!...

Creature Feet Shoes

$160 - $325 Etsy »

I've never much cared for hoofin' it, especially when I have my friend Cornelius to drive me, but these Creature Feet Shoes are giving the term a whole new and exciting meaning in my world. Not that I'd ever wear what...

Roof Gutter Cleaning Tool

$15.99 Amazon »

Cleaning out your roof gutters by hand: more or less gross than scooping out pumpkin guts by hand? This roof gutter cleaning tool does for the unsavory task of removing leaves and gunked-up debris from your roof drainage...

OptiWand Pincher Contact Lens Insertion & Removal Tool

$18.99 Amazon »

I OptiWander how anyone could stick this contact lens plunger near their eyeball. Then again, since the alternative is a finger, I also OptiWander how anyone could wear contact lenses at all. One thing this dude do not...